Just to go ahead and state the obvious: I hate ticking time bombs.
In more ways than one.
I have always abhorred confrontations. They make me uncomfortable, and just ...no.
An incident from six years ago comes to mind when I think about confrontations.
Let me set the scene: I'm in my last year of secondary school, I'm taking the WAEC G.C.E Exam, and I think I'm all that.
On this particular day, a group of us were on our way to take the Mathematics portion of the examination in a school bus. There were not many students from my secondary school who were assigned to take the exam at my center, so the bus was not packed.
But the expressway was. I am not sure what was happening that morning, but there were cars everywhere and I don't think they were all facing the same direction
After sitting in this gridlock for a few minutes, and moving maybe a few feet, our bus driver got out of the vehicle to plead with the drivers of the vehicles nearest to us to make way for us.
"These children are on their way to take an exam," he said... probably. (It's been six years!)
One thing led to a disastrous other because next thing I recall, our bus driver was recieving (and maybe, giving) blows.
I tell you - watching a physical altercation in person versus through the screen is a vastly different experience.
Looking back now, my reaction seems kind of dramatic, but I burst into tears.
I shouted at the boys in the bus to go out and help in some way. I think they did. At least, I remember one of the more mature boys in my class at the time (y'all know who I 'm talking about) standing outside the bus.
I don't really remember much else, traumatized as I was.
We did, however, get to the exam center before the exam started - Praise God!
As you can probably tell from this rendition, my reaction to the altercation is probably one of the only things I fully remember.
As Maya Angelou famously said, "people will ... remember how you made them feel."
So what's the moral of this story and the blog? Don't be a ticking time bomb.
Don't be someone who goes around creating tension. Don't thrive in conflict.
It's a lose-lose situation.
You lose. People around you lose. And you are remembered as the "ticking time bomb."
My perseverance and dedication are definitely being tested with this challenge.
It's past 9pm in my corner of the world, and all this girl wants to do is sleep.
I don't know why I'm so tired!
It's very easy to get wrapped up in "me." Case in point: the paragraph above.
What do I want to eat? What do I look like? How do I feel? What do I think?
And sometimes we are just so worried about "me," that we forget about "us."
I don't know what you are going through, and I do not mean to trivialize your situation. The purpose of this post is to remind that "us" matters.
Don't be so wrapped up in you that you don't see others.
I've never watched any of the Rocky movies...
What does that have to do with anything?
I don't know...I am just kind of putting words together here - so go with me.
Something life-changingly horrible could have happened tonight. So I think I am just sitting here, running.
Running through all the "whys," "what-ifs," and "hows" in my head.
It's cool, though. Because God is not done with me... or you yet.
So, let the devil and his people bring it.
I've got the King of Kings on my side. Nuh-uh, scratch that...We've got the King of Kings on our side.
And we will always win - just like we did tonight.
And yes, I'm thankful to God beyond words. Because it could have happened. But it didn't.
And I know that the good that would come out of this would be beyond my wildest dreams. So, dazzle me, Lord.
If you have made it to this sentence, you are to be applauded. Talk about discombobulation.
I figured I'd post this anyway, because life is not always hunky-dory. John 16:33
Sometimes you are mad; sometimes you are sad. Sometimes you are ...an unnamed human emotion that makes you sit and run at the same time.
No matter what happens in life though, Jesus remains the same - loving, caring, understanding and there. Hebrews 13:8
I've never, ever felt this way before.
It's so crazy and I can't stop smiling about it. About You.
Hi ladies and gents, welcome to Day 3 of this journey.
I think it's safe to say that my day was ...unexpected.
It's ironic: for all my talk about letting God lead the way and la-dee-da-dee-dah, I still very much like to be in control of what happens to me. Okay, maybe "like" is not the right word. I guess I can't really help it sometimes.*
So today took me, the heck, by surprise.
It began like any other. I woke up, got dressed, and left the house in a mini-hurry. (I was rushing, but only a little. I wasn't late, but almost).
Just to set the stage, keep in mind that today is Monday. Not just any Monday, but the Monday after the four-day Thanksgiving weekend...
Yeah, I know.
I was fine until about 9am. Then manure hit the fan. I can't really disclose the details, but suffice to say, it was horrible. And a few teardrops might have escaped my eyelids.
"I honestly did not need this right now," I thought as I took a walk during my break. But the Lord reminded me to trust that He was in charge, just like I had asked Him to.
"Lord, take control." I prayed again.
Fast forward to 5:45pm on my drive back home, I was feeling like crap.
Some upfront facts about me: when I am feeling an emotion other than happiness, I quiet down and ruminate. I don't talk to anyone, God included.
We can talk about how messed up this is later. ☺
You wanna know one of the things I love most about God, and the reason I am crazy about Him? He knows me and gives me exactly what I need, when I need it.
The Lord knew I didn't need a shoulder to cry on this evening. I needed to be told:
"You are feeling like this, because you were not in control of the situation today. Because things did not go the way you wanted them to. However, just because they did not go the way you wanted them to does not mean they did not go I wanted them to. After all, didn't you ask Me to take control?"
My response? I exclaimed, and subsequently burst into laughter. No joke.
Somehow God knew exactly what would make me laugh. He knew what would get through to me in my gloom and bring me back to Him in understanding.
And that thought just flipping blows my mind. Over and over. Over and over.
Darn, Lord, You are good. And I am head-over-heels crazy about You.
You know what's crazier? The fact that by the time I am done writing and posting this, there would be 10 more reasons to love Him.
I thought I'd start today's blog off with an exercise.
Are you ready?
I promise, there is little to no physical movement involved, despite the name. I wouldn't want you to put your phone down...for obvious reasons. ☺
Randomly pick out three things in your immediate environment. The only rule is that you must pick something (you could pick out a person, too, if you want.)
Do you have your choices?
No? Jeez... what's taking you so long?
Yes? Nice. Now come up with nine reasons, three for each choice, to give God thanks for the existence of your choices.
For your sake, I hope you are in a train car with strangers, and you picked three random strangers...
So what's the point of all this? It's to remind us to be thankful.
Sometimes, with life getting in the way, it is hard to see a reason to be thankful.
While that sucks for us because it means we'd be stressed out, anxious, and bitter, it sucks even more for God. Because there He is, behind the scenes, working hard day and night. And He doesn't even get a thank You.
1. Standing Fan
Why I thank God: That I can afford it, that it is working, especially with this Atlanta Fall weather, and that it hasn't produced an electric spark that would have led to a fire and loss of almost all my earthly possessions
2. Chest of Drawers
Why I thank God: That I have it, that it is still useful after so many years, which means I don't have to spend money to replace it, and that it hasn't collapsed and injured anyone
3. Space Heater
Why I thank God: That I have it, especially in this Fall season, that it is working, and that it hasn't exponentially increased my electric bill.
Tonight, I'm thankful and I know it.
Hey there. I missed y'all! Ugh, I missed talking to y'all so much!
Nevertheless, I am back with a bang! Along with my enthusiastic exclamation marks!!! ☺
Okay, okay...I'll get on with it.
Jamie Grace (Google the name; she's dope) turned 26 today. A few days ago, she announced a project to commemorate her birthday: 91 songs for 91 days. (Can you guess why she chose the number "91?" You are a genius if you guess correctly!)
Writing 91 songs in as many days is no joke. Hence, when I heard about the project, I applauded her audacity and tenacity. I still do.
Fast forward to this morning in church (no, I don't go to Seventh Day Adventist church, and yes, we have church tomorrow morning too) when the Lord dropped an idea in my heart.
There are 36 days left in this year, why not write a blog post for each day?
Immediately I received this, I smiled. The Lord knew me too well.
Since I was given the go-ahead to revisit cutieforjesus.com, I have been avoiding writing. I am not sure I can fully explain why. I have my theories, of course. (ahem, go to @cutie4jesus on Instagram to find out more.)
Seriously, I did basically everything else. (Can you tell what else I have been doing? FYI, yes is the safe answer.)
It is while writing this post that I realize what the 36-day challenge is for. Or more specifically, who it is for. You guessed it! Me.
My fellow cuties, this challenge is God saying to me: "I see you staying down because you are afraid to get up. So GET YOUR BUTT UP, and while you're at it, do 36 squats!"
While 36 squats is not really a bucket-list item for me, I am reminded that I have a Father who loves and sees me.
Maybe you haven't had something eventful happen to you recently that reminds you that God loves and sees you. That's okay.
As you commute to work/school/home/church over the next few days, take note of the position of the sun/moon in the sky.
If the heavenly lights that God created won't leave you but follow you everywhere you go, what makes you think God ever would?
He would never stop seeing you. You just need to keep looking up (literally, if that's what it takes to not forget).